December is FINALLY here!

My 1st semester of Grad School is ALMOST OVER!!! Only 7 more to go! Time really has flown by... I swear it was yesterday when I was moving to Lincoln and second guessing myself. Although, I still do second guess myself! There is this thing about grad school where each new project, test, presentation or whatever else they make us do, makes you think, "can I actually do this and succeed at it?" and that makes you wonder, "can I actually be a good audiologist?".

I just got done with a huge research presentation that was about how a specific middle ear measurement (wideband reflectance) relates to the physiology of the ear. I was so nervous that I didn't have enough material and just didn't know enough about the topic. That is probably true since it was only a 30-40 minute presentation. However, my professor gave me good feedback as well as my classmates. Then, just yesterday, my professor told me he was so impressed with my research that he would like me to present it at a state convention: Nebraska Speech-Language and Hearing convention. WOW. I was stunned, surprised, flattered, and terrified. How does he know that I really DO know enough about this measure?! Then I made a phone call to my parents, like I always do when I get flustered, and made a decision. This is grad school, it is meant to be scary because now we are part of the real world application. Nothing is black and white and as terrifying as something might be at the time, it will only help evolve me into the professional I want to become. And, even the person I hope that I am. So, I said I would be honored to present. He also let me know that I wouldn't be alone, I would be collaborating with an Audiologist at Boys Town who has been performing the actual research that I presented. (Cool!)

This week, I also had my first practical exam where I sat down with 2 of my professors and they grilled me on clinical application information, when we would run specific tests-when we wouldn't, how to run certain measures/tests, the norms, ... and it went on.

One of my professors said, " oh you all will be fine, if you don't pass, we will just call it an incomplete and you can retake it before the spring semester begins. Everyone always says it wasn't as bad as they thought." Well... I would like to meet these people, because it was WORSE than what I thought!

When people are asking me questions, I want to be prepared and know more than just the answer. But when you have 2 people staring at you, waiting for your response and one looks so bored she just might put a pencil through her eye, it is quite intimidating. OR when they'd ask a question and I would begin to answer, they would have this look on their faces like "what in the world are you talking about?... good try". Finally, when I was done with all of the torture, I was sent to a different room while my professors chatted. When I came back, they said, "So Kelly, how do you feel you did? Do you think there's anything you could improve on?" Right then and there I about starting crying because I knew I would have to take it again. Then they said, Oh we're just kidding, we like to do that to you all!... MEAN. BUT, then they said I did a great job and I passed!! There was that immediate elation and relief, but I wanted to go home and eat cookies and sleep. It was so exhausting. Unfortunately, I have to do it all over again next semester, but it will include counseling and the hearing aid clinic. Then, at the end of my 3rd year I will have oral comps where I pick 4 classes and answer the boards questions. Stay tuned.